A look back in time...

I've really gotten into this old picture business. It's just so much fun to look back on what people looked like and the things they did back when our Grandparents were young. It's funny, I've always thought of my grandparents as grandparents, and older members of my family just as I see them now. It's hard to imagine them being my age. There are pictures of my grandfather in his baseball uniform...and of my Aunt Alda and her husband in the grass infront of their old school. She said on Saturdays driving around and going places is what they did for fun. It's fun to look back, to open my thoughts to the entire life they led before I ever came about. Somehow I wish I could've known them...then. How different it would've been! Did they laugh about the same things I laugh about now? What about the jokes my friends and I share? I love to laugh...were they as playful as I can be? What about insecurities...and passions? Was their skin a little thicker? Or did they cry after a bad day like I have many times? Although the same people are inside, I just find myself wondering who they were and how they acted when these pictures were taken. During the height of sundresses and high heels, getting married so young, raising children, and spending Saturday afternoons piling into a car together just to go somewhere to have a picnic. I know this is odd to think about...but I can't help it. It just strikes me that these people I love and have become so attached to had as many as 50-70 years of life behind them before I came to know them. Living, and all of the experiences of life mold and shape us forever until our lives come to a close. Who were they and how did they act then?

The "more later" that I promised....

It's the middle of the day and I just left the dentist for my 5th and final visit...thank goodness. It only took 3 tries to get me numb this time. If anything else like this happens, I wonder if they would listen to me if I suggested just putting me to sleep and doing it all at once! It's a good thing that this was the last encounter with my dentist for a while, because my patience is running paper thin when it comes to dental work right now.

This summer has flown by it seems. The first half of the summer I was in classes and voice lessons...then I was in between home and Boone for various reasons. I've gotten a lot closer to some members of my family over the past month or so. I think a lot of it had to do with my recital. There was a lot of preparation for it. Not just musically, but with the invitations and the reception. I needed help with it, and my family stepped up to the plate! I got to have a few nice lunch dates with some people that I hardly get to see. It's amazing what you can accomplish and how many different levels you can connect with someone just by sitting across from them chatting for a few hours. Rehearsals with Carol for the recital were just wonderful. She is one of my favorite people in the world. We have such a great time...her talent is amazing, and her wonderful personality always puts me in a wonderful mood...and keeps me calmer and in better spirits in a performance setting (which is important)! Anyway, I'm really going to miss seeing her and working with her every week. It's the same story with Steve and Mary. I spent some time at their house this summer rehearsing my closing piece that Steve played with me on the piano. We would practice for maybe 15 or 20 minutes and then talk for an hour or so! I don't get to see them very often, so it was nice to spend some time getting to know them better this summer.



Another place that I've been a frequent visitor over the past few months is my Aunt Alda's house. She is Grandpa Lewis' sister. Lately I've been going through some of the old family pictures that she has. This has been so much fun! I love seeing pictures of my aunts, uncles, and cousins when they were young. Looking at the pictures together always sparks a conversation about the day it was taken and what was happening then. I absolutely LOVE stuff like that! I've been spoiled and gotten used to seeing Aunt Alda pretty regularly in the past few months...I'll miss it when school starts!

I wish camp meeting happened more than once a year. It ALWAYS draws the family closer because we're all together so much during this time. It's nice to sit there without distractions of technology (there are no computers, tvs, etc) and just visit! I'm sad that it's going to be over!

I realized how lost I am without my parents and little sister around last night. Katherine's boyfriend and his family went to Topsail beach for their vacation. Katherine couldn't ride down with them because of a cake decorating class and senior pictures, so Mom and Dad took her down yesterday after she was finished with everything. They stayed the night because it was too much driving for one day, and I was all alone!! I survived (although I slept with a couple lights on inside and outside of the house) Ha :)

Well I guess I had better close. I'm at my parent's office making copies of sight-singing music for a high school kid I know that needs some. AND my mouth hurts! My gums back where the work was done are black and blue...and I'm in some pain...The numbing is wearing off and I'm not a happy camper! Hello Orajel and Advil!

A sigh of relief...

My recital is over! I will have to say that it was one of the most nerve racking experiences I've ever had. It was different from any other place I've performed. I was ready to be sick starting a few days before, but once I got on the stage, nerves kinda went away. I mean I was dealing with little nerves...but it was the first time I wasn't trying to keep my body and voice from shaking. I was as anxious as anyone would be, but it was definitely the best I've ever felt on a stage. Maybe it was the crowd. While I was singing, I was looking into the faces of people in my life that I love. The support from my family never fails to amaze me. Once everything was over, and I was at home that night alone with my thoughts...thinking about the people that came, helped, and the wonderful comments they made was overwhelming. I have pictures up online! www.picturetrail.com/mparker78


More later...

Not so late.

So I'm writing and it's actually before 1am. It's 10:23...but as sleepy as I am already, let's see how long this one takes me! I'm getting sooo nervous about my recital!! Tomorrow is the dress rehearsal which means the next day is the real deal..ah! I'm dealing with a ton of dust that's apparently gotten in my lungs...so I've been sneezing all day :( Hopefully with the help of all the smart water and orange juice I've been chugging, everything will go ok.

I know it's natural...but sometimes the fact that I miss the people I've lost gets a lot worse sometimes. Right now is one of those times. One of the people is my Grandpa Lewis. He lived right across the road from me...and I was naturally VERY attached to him. Sometimes if I hadn't seen him in a while I would just have to skip across the road to steal a hug. He was quiet most of the time...and I knew if I had made him burst out laughing, I had done something pretty funny :) I think of him a lot. I know he'll be listening on my recital day...and he'll be watching at every important event of my life, I just miss him more than I could ever say...

Another person is my cousin Marlene. She was a music teacher in Davidson county. She passed away a few days before her 40th Birthday...I had an email on my computer from her two days before her death. She was congratulating me on being admitted into the music school at Appalachian. I think about her a lot while I'm at music conferences and such, because I know if she were around today, she would be there. I got an email from her husband today saying that she would be proud of me (in regards to my recital). Anyway...I just have a lot on my mind! The day after Marlene passed away I went to Mars Hill Honors chorus and one of the pieces was entitled In Remembrance by Eleanor Daley. I first read the text probably a month after Grandpa died, so the song will always be special to me. The words are very hopeful and inspiring.

Do not stand at my grave and weep.
I am not there, I do not sleep.
I am the thousand winds that blow,
I am the diamond glint on snow.
I am the sunlight-ripened grain,
I am the gentle morning rain.
And when you wake in the morning’s hush,
I am the sweet uplifting rush
of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry,
I am not there, I did not die.

2 days in a row...

You should be impressed....this makes two days in a row that I've blogged!! It's currently 1:08am....apparently I can't write at a decent hour. I'm making 3 hour lunches a new trend of mine. Today I had lunch with an old friend from high school. She is a psych major from UNCW...and it's been AT LEAST a year since our last run-in....I honestly can't remember the last time we actually had a conversation at length...ah, tragic! Anyway, it was great! We ate at Monterrey and I arrived at 12:10 (I was supposed to be there at 12:00, but I realize once I got into town that I forgot to put on deodorant before I left the house, so I stopped in the drug store to get some...I needed some to keep in my purse anyway lol!) The whole deodorant thing made me realize how crazy I'm getting. It never fails when I'm nervous about singing somewhere or if things aren't quite going my way and I'm upset, I start forgetting things! When I was about to graduate high school I would leave the house and forget lunch...or I'll forget to call people back...etc. Craziness!! Anyway, back to my friend...it was just great to sit there and catch up on old times...we were in some of the same classes in High School and were able to laugh about so many things that happened :) Our freshman year in college we were a good 7 hours apart, so if we were sitting in a boring class we'd write to each other. Most of our letters back and forth were written on notebook paper...or an occasional card...but anyway, we decided to take up this tradition again. We exchanged new addresses and I do plan to write her, maybe on notebook paper (just to keep up the tradition!) I love this pic of us by the way...It was taken right after graduation practice!

I had a WONDERFUL rehearsal with my cousin Steve tonight. He and his wife Mary just make me laugh! We always have a good time when I go over there. It normally plays out to where we practice for about 20 minutes and the other hour or better is spent talking. It was hot outside today, so I had my big curly hair carelessly twisted and pinned with some of those "hair sticks"...just stick two of them in and my hair stays up. Well anyway, it looked a mess, and we were talking about my recital and what I was wearing, when I mentioned something about having enough time from singing at church that morning to go home and pin my hair back and he was like "yeah, you are going to do something about that aren't you?" We laughed for a long time because it was a funny/mean crack about my hair being so ridiculous today! We decided our relationship has to be love/hate...haha, good times!!

I finally finished my translations with the hateful Microsoft word and columns...thank goodness! Tomorrow I will make the program...that should be a breeze compared to those translations. I have a rehearsal tomorrow night with Carol (my last private rehearsal before the dress rehearsal, ah!)

Ok, so the Golden Girls are on (Again)...and since it's one of my favorite shows, I think I'm going to stop writing to watch for a bit before bed!

Update...

I ALWAYS blog late at night when I'm worried things won't come out right!! I've been working tirelessly on getting my song translations done for my recital. The hard part wasn't translating the songs....the real issue is trying to get a microsoft word document using columns to cooperate. Bah!

Camp meeting is going on. I LOVE camp meeting!! It's like a step back in time...no tvs...we just enjoy each other's company and an occasional milkshake from the shack! Ah, I just can't say enough about my family! The exciting news lately is that my cousin Chad is home from Germany...for longer than his usual 6 week visit. He's going to get his masters from UNC...so he'll be in the same country and same state!!...we'll work on the same town later :)


I should be going to bed, but I need to talk about a lunch date I had today. In past years my cousin Vicki and I have seen each other at reunions (and she actually missed a few years of those because of band trips...), the occasional funeral (unfortunately), and music educators convention..this shows how few and far between our visits are! We've kept in touch via text message and email over the years. We share a love for music (she's a band teacher)...and talking! Today we FINALLY were able to combine our schedules and get together for lunch. I'm pretty sure we talked for a little over 3 hours. You know you get along great with someone if you can keep conversation with no room for awkward silence for 3 hours straight! It was just great! I absolutely think the world of her, and only wish that I could see her more often than a few times a year! She has been so supportive with me and music...and understands me when I talk about the different frustrations that comes with the territory. Anyway, I just had to sing her praises for a bit!

No more typing on voice stuff tonight...I need some time off!! I'm starting to get so nervous!! I'm excited, but I worry about EVERYTHING....I'm always nervous, and always shake, but I don't want people to hear it in my voice....what if my voice cracks, or I forget my words....all of this runs through my overactive mind! I have a rehearsal tomorrow with my cousin Steve (he's playing my closing piece). Then Wednesday I have a rehearsal with Carol (my accompanist), and Saturday I have a dress rehearsal to iron out everything! Sunday I sing at the church service at Rehobeth...a solo and a duet with my friend Travis....then I'll have enough time to pin my hair up, put a dress on, and get there for the real deal!! ah!

Ok, so the Golden Girls are on and they're distracting me so I'm going to close!